The good news is that when a man becomes a Christ-follower, he gains a father-and not just any father, the Father. Perhaps that rings true for you-you do feel adrift without the love and guidance of a father.
#Struggle like father like son how to#
And fathers play a central role in shaping boys into men who know how to use their strengths, talents, and gifts to love well, care for those who are weaker, and become faithful husbands and fathers. A man’s role is so crucial in all spheres of life that from the first man Adam to today, their actions-both good and bad-have profoundly shaped the course of history. The same holds for the church: as the men of the church go, so goes the church. A culture stands or falls on the quality of its men. My deep conviction is that as the men go, so goes the culture. The result is children left adrift-especially boys, who are trying to find their way in an increasingly complicated world without a man to guide them. But too often moms are expected to raise children on their own-without help from the men who fathered those children. This is not to say that mothers are not key influences on their children as well.
Fathers play a key role in the formation of all their children If that man-his father or father-figure-is absent, abusive, or disengaged, that will shape the kind of man a boy becomes, whether by molding himself in that image or by battling against it. A boy learns (or doesn’t learn) to be a man primarily from the most significant man in his life. Often the most pronounced difference in these men is the positive influence their fathers played in their lives.įathers play a key role in the formation of all their children, but there is something unique about the way this plays out with their sons. What is it about that guy that is different? we wonder. I knew he loved me.” Those men often have a confidence, security, and strength that other guys pick up on, but cannot quite decipher. Guys who have a great earthly father have no problem with the dad question and usually fire back something like, “My dad was always there for me. I have more questions than answers about him and about our relationship.” Sometimes they just shake their heads as if to say, “I don’t get him. For many men the very word “father” or “dad” can elicit a wide range of emotions: fear, rejection, loss, guilt, anger/rage, anxiety, and ambivalence. Then I often hear some variation of, “It’s complicated. Many guys will pause, look down, and struggle to describe a subject that they probably wished I hadn’t brought up. The response usually tells me it is a tough subject. “Tell me about your relationship with your father.” I’ve said this to countless men over the years because I’ve found it cuts to the heart of a man’s identity.
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